 Players in a wide variety of sports have
sought my counsel regarding the elusive
characteristic called confidence. For some,
they had it and now have “lost it”. Others,
claim never to have had it, and aren’t really
sure what it is. Still more know what it is
because they “see it in others”, but don’t
think they have enough for themselves. Read
about, watch, or listen to athletes as they
talk about confidence, and how revered this
trait is! As with all the topics about
which I write, the specific answer for
optimal confidence is somewhat dependent on
each and every person’s own set of
circumstances. Talent, opportunity, skill,
luck, and many other factors can be plugged
into the confidence equation. However, there
are some thoughts that I have regarding
confidence that I believe cut across
virtually all situations.
1. If you want to have the confidence of
a champion, then begin training like a
champion. Confidence comes primarily
from optimal preparation and a sense of
having all the requisite tools in the toolbox
to adequately address the competitive
situations that might confront you. This
means work hard on your technical, physical,
and mental preparation, or be prepared to
face the inevitable consequence of self-doubt
and worry when faced with difficulty when
performing.
2. Catch yourself doing things
right. Most of us, when asked, can
recount a litany of things that we didn’t do
well the last time we were on the course.
How many things can you recall that you did
well? Most of us have expectations that
we’re supposed to do certain things when we
compete, and fail to give ourselves the
credit due when we do these (so-called)
routine things. Every time you hit the drive
into the fairway, hit a green in regulation,
or two putt for par is a positive
accomplishment. How many deposits do you
make in your confidence bank? If you’re like
most, you’re certainly making plenty of
withdrawals!
3. Strengthen your weaknesses. Make
an honest accounting of where you believe
yourself to be weakest and do whatever it
takes to improve. This can be a physical or
mental area, and addressing the “weakest
link” will boost your confidence. Virtually
every player with whom I’ve worked has a
particular area of his or her game that feels
weak relative to the rest, and few people are
willing to put in the extra time and energy
to overcome this. It’s usually more
enjoyable and less frustrating to work on our
strengths.
4. Measure yourself against your own
criteria. Many people allow their
confidence to be shaken easily and quickly
because of comparisons to others. How many
of us have experienced the circumstance where
we’re feeling pretty good about our
abilities, only to permit our egos to be
bruised because someone else we see is longer
off the tee, more consistent, or more
accomplished? This is toxic to our
confidence, without regard to how we’re
performing. If, instead, we measure our
performance based on our own realistic
expectations and where we are
developmentally, we are much less likely to
be caught up in the race to be as good as
someone else. Instead, we are in the race to
improve ourselves and rely on our own
standard to evaluate our gains and/or
setbacks.
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